Corn jade pendant

She bought me a pendant during her China trip.

It's a jade pendant carved in a shape of a corn.

She told me the corn reminded her of my nickname - con.

Been wearing the pendant since the day I received it from her.

Even after we broke up, I'm still wearing it until...

it dropped by itself on the floor when I changed my cloth just now.

I remember people told me jade is spiritual.

I guess it means something...

Don't know why I couldn't stop thinking of her after i dropped the pendant.

Before it happened, I was fine... I wasn't moody.

Now, i'm feeling so depressed, so weird...

and a slight of tears forcing to come out from my eyes,

whenever she appears in my mind.

Before this pendant, a pendant for my leg also dropped for a few times.

However I managed to find it.

Last time she bought a green and a brown necklace pendants.

Then she modified and tied it above my right ankle.

I felt so much of love when she tied it for me.

Now it's loose and the string has torn...

I guess she wouldn't tie it for me anymore.

Perhaps it's time to leave both pendants to be by themselves.

I texted her, it's undelivered.

She blocked me from sms her and most likely for calls as well.

So, I emailed her. The shortest email I ever wrote.

Then I asked my friend to call and pretended like someone calling the wrong no.

After my friend described her voice and her malay accent, I confirmed that's her.

I guess she's fine and i hope she's fine.

Perhaps the pendant doesn't symbolize anything.

I'm feeling lonelier now, without the company of the pendants.

sighs... I'm gonna be all right.