I turned 25 this year, and there were so many things happened in 2009. Could not deny that age of 25 is the age of stepping into adulthood. Many of my friends are married and I think I'm getting more serious about my career. I don't cry as much as previous year (probably is a good thing). As a conclusion, this is a very steady and yet a lonely year to me. I spent most of my time in the office and my room. Life's a bit dull, looking for vibrant hues to replace the dullness but vibrant hues seemed to fade easily in a short period of time.
Perhaps it's my unwillingness of letting go the faded hue. Still missing her, still loving her, still care as much as i could remember. The only solution would be getting a brand new emulsion undercoat and then apply on the surface of the faded hue. Not sure how many plies... I'm still trying to get rid of it as the feeling is still strong.
Been waiting for 3 years of Christmas by hoping to see her but still went through the same ending. Frankly I've never been celebrating Christmas with someone I love, was it that hard to make it come true? If this year's Christmas wish is to hope for a companionship from my love one, would it be happened? or still i need to wait for another and another and another year? Sometimes I just felt that my life was so pathetic...
Why am i so stupid, i should have waken up from after so many disappointments. If she loved, she would had doing things that make happy instead of giving me troubles all the time. Seriously, i need cures... however my heart couldn't let go... Just like what my sis told me when she found out that i've never been changing my ringtone since i got an mp3 phone which is 5 years ago; she said i couldn't move on, did not try something new. I told her, this is my loyalty to what i love. Maybe i should rethink of what she had said, maybe i should try a new ringtone... with condition if that song sounds better than the current one. SEE! I just couldn't let go at all... sigh.
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Let go ! Move on with your life. If she love you she would not make you wait for years...Your stuborness will not help you forget ! I've been through that kinda situation too...The more you care for her the more you seem to be pathetic to her. Leave her alone if she need you for good sake or bad im sure she will contact you. Let Go! if she ever come back someday for real then is a bonus ! As for now have dignity and pride back mate ! Believe me...
ReplyDeleteThanks immense, i had a deep thought after i posted this. I sms her yesterday but she did not reply (i guess she knew that i was asking her out yesterday, as i'd been telling her so). Maybe you'll be wondering why i did not call? Because I was afraid of being reject and I don't think i've anything else to share with her. Then i saw her online, but i've decided not to disturb her. Like what you'd mentioned "have dignity and pride back", i totally agree with you :)
ReplyDeleteI think in your situation, rejection is a norm ! Well she choosed to ignore, why bother ? Maybe oneday if she needs your help or any information from you she will call you then. Forget bout her, maybe she seeing somebody already and that is why she didnt reply you. Yea, is new year...have a good start..brand new year ! Have your pride and dignity back !
ReplyDeleteI hope she's seeing someone then i've more reasons to forget her (But right now, it doesn't matter whether she's single or not, i'm gonna give myself some time to forget her). I'll be fine, really appreciated your comments on my post, thanks! Happy New Year! :D
ReplyDeleteSeem like you having a hard time forgeting her...the relationship is a long one? Years ? Some time to forget but i glance through your post, seem like you took years to let go mate. Im sure she been seeing few peoples after all these years rite? Dont give yourself anymore reason...Happy New Year to you...
ReplyDeleteNone of my relationships were longer than a year. Pretty sad huh! Our relationship was lasted for just 2 months. She's the one that wanted to end this relationship. Eventhough we're no longer in a relationship, we still cared for each other. Not long after our break up, she met someone new or i should say she already met this person when we're still together. So from a lover of hers i became the 3rd party... it's not great being the 3rd party, i did not get acknowledgment... all that i did was playing hide and seek and hide this 'affair' as much as i could. However i did not whine about this because i loved her so much. This year i tried to forget her... i actually did! But still meeting the wrong ones and sometimes bad timing too.
ReplyDeletehmm..how can you turn into a third party instead after the break up ? How could you hidding the affair ? Well guess she is using you and being real selfish then. Or she is hiding the relationship between you and her all the time while you both are together. Well, guess you haven find the right person then. Cheer up mate..forget her as she not mean to be with you too..if not she wont give up after 2 months which is fast. Maybe she just flirting around and she is a player by nature. Let go mate ! Not worth waiting and wasting your time for years as she never even think neither care for you ! Best way is to delete her number and msn from your list. It would help you more. Trust me, is much easier for yourself ! Try it !
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