Final wake-up call

The previous post, I told myself I had to write something happy and positive.

I'm sorry but I failed once again. I'm screwed!

Today was really a bad bad day for me. Can anyone tell me why?

Do i deserve to be treated this way? This is fucking sad.

I called J for lunch today, but she was moody, she kinda ignored me.

(I tried to calm down, and look for others for lunch)

Then I called my ex (another J) for lunch as usual.

And the conversation began like this:

me: "hey... wanna lunch together?"

ex-J: "errr... But i'm gonna have lunch with A*"

*A is her ex, they attached after me

me: "what?! I thought you fucking hate her? I thought you said she's fucking drama? I thought you said you'll never ever contact with her again?"

ex-J: "What happened to your voice?" (I just woke up and my voice was manly, i guess she thought i was crying)

me: (ignored her question) "tell me... why you still have lunch with her?"

ex-J: "we're together"

me: "what do you mean by 'we're together'? you mean you guys are attached now?"

ex-J: "yes"

me: "okay..." (without bye, i hung up the call and cried)

For 3 fucking years, I cared for you and helped you throughout (from studies to work)

Is this what I get? I've never expected you to gimme a chance, cuz you will never will.

As a friend, i treated you as a friend...

Please don't bullshitting in front of me. Don't tell me lies.

It makes you no different to the people you hated and complained about!

I believe there's no love in between us but the feelings were there.

It hurts... my heart was aching.

Therefore the first few things that I did after i hung up the call are:

- Deleted the florist acc from my FB

- Deleted and blocked all her msn (including the old ones)

- Deleted her mobile/house phone no

This shall be the final wake-up call that will bring me good.

I'm done!

p/s: I loathe you